The only thing you can do is start from zero. 0.
You can’t start from the things you already tried. You have to approach this from zero. The building blocks and the concepts there. The bricks are of good quality. The material is fine. You just have to stop staring at a pile of bricks and learn to lay your bricks one at a time.
Maybe you can’t seem to get past certain things. You can’t seem to get past “messy room” or “overweight.” You’re too busy ‘sweeping’ to get anything done. And it’s causing a vicious cycle of anxiety.
"But I’m afraid to start from zero. I feel like I’m already in the negative.", you say. Starting from here feels too overwhelming. But why not try it one step at a time? This is where laying bricks comes into play.
Leave the work unfinished until it’s finished. Don’t censor it. Don’t tidy up the workspace. Just work. Just continue fucking working until the work is finished, and then you won’t have to worry about all this nickel-and-diming that’s taking place as you try and get it started. Tie up the loose ends once it’s done.
Don’t worry about the little pieces of twigs and tree bark laying around. Build the damn fire.